Searching For Nothing
by RiYuYami
Summary: A little one-shot between Alfonse Heidrich and Edward Elric, all through the point of view of Alfonse.


A little one-shot between Alfonse Heidrich and Edward Elric, all through the point of view of Alfonse.

I own nothing but the plot. This is shonen-ai by the way, so if you don't like, don't read.

On with the fic

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Searching For Nothing

One-shot

--

_-Talking_

We sit across from one another just like every other morning. And yet, the only thing that we both must hear right now is silence. Not the sounds of the busy streets of Munich outside my windows. Not the sounds on our metal utensils on our glass plates. Not even the sound of your breath or mine are being heard right now.

I try to speak to you, but I must go mute to your deafened ears. It must be vise versa for you since I can't hear you when you speak to me.

It's sad really, we have known one another for almost three years now and yet I know next to nothing about you. Your father, how ever, talks about his strange son all the time. He explains that he is famous where he lives, with a temper that over powers his boy's super ego. He also talks about this place that he is from, where alchemy over powers technology, where you can get special limbs that work like normal ones but with out blood, muscles, skin, or nerves, where almost everything is the same but some things are not. He always talks about you and your home. That is where your everything is.

Everything that is Edward Elric is in the other world, but it is missing one thing.

You.

It is missing the strange blond that sits in front of me right now.

"Alfonse?"

I blink and look up at you, those golden, weary eyes that always seem lost, look at me from behind wheat-gold hair which was mostly kept back in a pony tail. You cock your head slightly as you continued to wait for my response.

"Yes Edward?"

"Are you even listening to what I am telling you?"

"I'm sorry," I spoke softly with a sad smile, "I forgot we were talking and I spaced out. I didn't mean to."

You only nodded and offered your own smile. "Its okay Alfonse, it was just a boring conversation anyway."

--

_-Homesick_

Why am I so fascinated when I watch you?

You are like an enigma wrapped in a metal and skin suit. You question this world while I stay silent and never question yours. You don't understand that you speak English; you say it's your country's language. You know the entire chemical make up of humans and yet you don't understand some of the recent elements on the Periodic Table. You say you are strong and not small and that you are still growing, but you refuse to drink milk. You are fascinated by this world's technology, while I am quietly fascinated by this thing that you call alchemy.

You always say that alchemy is the basic principal of the world, that to gain something you must give something in return with equal value, but I keep telling you that alchemy was just used to make people have fatter pockets in this world back in the medieval times until Newton's law caused alchemy to be just a crazy idea.

As I watch you right now, from behind this door with a crack between it and the door frame allowing me to see in, you sit on your bed. You seem to be looking at your mismatched hands like always, and you have a smile on your face but your eyes hold a far off look. You smile as your hands touch and make the all too familiar clap, you place those strange hands onto a surface and then…

Nothing.

The smile on your face fades into the look of despair I hate seeing on your face. You clap over and over again, but nothing happens, nothing ever happens. You have a whole desk drawer full of strange symbols that you call transmutation circles, you draw them so often that I myself have memorized the strange art.

Why do you try so hard for nothing that will benefit you?

Is it because you are homesick?

--

_-Sleep_

"Alfonse? Are you awake?"

I am now, thanks to you. I turn to see the silhouette of the strange blond who is my room mate at my door, clinging to the door frame and looking at me. I sit up a bit and you seem to be watching the whole time with those odd eyes of yours.

"I am, is something wrong Edward?" I ask.

"I wanted to know if I can sleep with you…" Your voice sounded so quiet that I almost didn't catch that. I was slightly shocked. Edward, you had always seemed independent adult and yet here you are, asking if you could sleep in my bed like a child.

I smiled at you and gestured for you to get in. I watch you as you walked slowly, mismatched foot falls could be heard on the wooden floor as you walked over and got under the covers. I pull them over us both and I turn my back so that it is facing you, getting ready to enter my interrupted sleep again but I am stopped when I feel your surprisingly strong arms wrap around me. I turn my head to look at you, but you are already out, but I notice you have a slight smile on your face.

You must be dreaming of that world of yours.

--

_-Kitty_

"Hello, I am Edward Elric."

I am shocked. I have never seen someone who looks like you before in my life, and yet I am entranced by how different you are. Your hair is a much darker gold then mine, with tan skin and a face that looks like an adult's face with child-like features. Your eyes are such a bright gold, but they look sad and surprised at the same time as you look at me. You seem built, but small. I had been told that you would be coming and that I shouldn't mention your height.

As I look at you with those large gold eyes and limp shoulders, a slight frown on your lips that almost makes you look like you are pouting and that sadness on your face, you remind me of a kitty in the rain with no home.

I want to take home this golden kitty and make him feel better.

I want to give you a good home kitty.

--

_-Name_

I watch as you seem interested in the market place on this warm Monday morning, saying that you have never seen so many people in a place like this since you were last in Central, another one of those strange places from your world I guess. You look around and pick up this and that but you seem outraged by the price. "Heidrich!" You call, never saying my name for some reason. "The price is so high! Why is that?" You ask me and I only shrug.

"Inflation. The prices have been going up since the end of the Great War here, we lost so much money that the government needs more and we have to pay taxes to get the necessities we need on a daily basis. That's why you have to buy what you need on Mondays or you will have to spend more later on in the week."

I purchased some bread since you have trouble with German and can't do it yourself, but I noticed you are watching some people argued over by a vegetable cart, one of the men kicks the cart, knocking it over and you run over to help the cart owner clean it up. But one of the men picks you up, telling you it's none of your concern to get involve in the matter and you kick and scream in your language, which I keep telling you it is called English here, but you get thrown into a wall.

"Edward!" I called as I ran over you, but you look angry at the man, telling him it is not right to do what he did to you and the cart owner. As you get up to throw a punch of your own, a whistle is heard and you turn to see an officer come over and you freeze. You have that look again, that one I saw when I first met you, when you first saw Gracia, and when you saw some of my friends at the lab.

This officer looks like someone from your world.

"What is going on here?" The officer commands and the cart owner and the man explain and you just stand there looking at him. Once the officer hears what the others had to say he turned to you with a smile. "Were you just trying to help this old gentleman?" He asked in English since the cart owner said that you yelled in that language.

You nod. "I wanted to help that man, but that jackass behind me started beating me up." The officer looked from you and then to the man and calls to another officer to take the man away. He turns back to you. "Well, it looks like what is done, is done. You seem like a nice kid. My name is Officer Maes Hughes, are you new here?"

You look at him and smile. "Yes, I am Edward Elric by the way." You shake his hand and he smiles, Hughes tells us that he has to return to work but he would talk to us later. Once he leaves, your face turns sad again and I feel your gloved hand slip into mine and you speak softly.

"Alfonse, I miss my home…" You look at me with such sad eyes and I give your hand a light squeeze, taking note that for the first time you said my first name.

--

_-Sick_

'_You don't have much time left Mr. Heidrich…' _

I don't have much time left…

I don't have much time…

I don't have much…

I don't have…

I don't…

I…

How can I tell you that I am going to die? You keep asking me over and over if I'm okay, and I keep saying I'm fine over and over again.

But I've been lying.

To you and myself.

I have been coughing so much, it makes my chest hurt and the bloody rags in which I have spelt my own blood from my mouth are going to be found by you sooner or later. I have to tell you soon or this will be the second time you lose the one you call 'Al.'

I know you can't stand for that to happen; but I'm scared! I don't want to die Edward! I want to see the stars! I want to see the moon! I want to touch the sky! I want to see the world from the eyes of a bird! Through the eyes of God!

I want to see your world…

--

-_Confession_

This isn't right, I know it isn't but it is.

You would think I was insane or something because of this, but I think what this whole thing about me always watching you, studying you, listening to you, was just to fuel this strange paranoia going on in my mind.

I think I have fallen for you Edward, but I don't know if I should ever tell you.

Maybe I shouldn't.

You might leave sooner then you had originally planned.

But, you might stay longer. I want you to stay longer with me so badly, but that would be a selfish wish of pure nothingness for me since I know you want to return so badly. But I might as well say this to you just to get this ever-growing pain of bottled up guilt and love off my chest.

"I think I love you…"

"You love me?"

"Yes."

"With your mind body and soul?"

"Yes."

"…"

"…"

"Alfonse?"

"Yes Edward?"

"Do you want me to stay?"

"Yes."

"Do you want me to say I love you?"

"…"

"I love you."

--

_-Sky_

Is the sky the same color here as it is in your world?

Or are they two shades on the same blue in your eyes Edward?

Do you have the same moon?

The same stars?

The same constellations?

The same galaxies?

The same clouds?

The same sun?

The same planets?

The same dreams that are beyond that of the layers of atmosphere that hover above our heads that keep us alive on this ball of rock, water, and life that we call Earth?

Why is it that both our worlds are the same but so different at the same time? It's like two sides of the same coin.

But you turn and look at me with a smile; at least I know that smiles are the same in both worlds unlike the sky where it is a different shade of something than it is there.

--

_-Kiss_

I told you that I love you, and you say it back to me everyday just as I do.

But we have yet to kiss.

Should we kiss to break the tension between us in this strange relationship that we seem to be developing between us both or should we wait until we are ready and completely understand these feelings for each other.

I lay next to you on my bed; you are curled up next to me, just like a kitty. I stroke your hair and you keep your eyes closed but a smile is on your lips. I lean down slowly and I place a small kiss on your lips, but you pull me closer and make the kiss more passionate. We pull away and look at one another and you grin.

"I love you." Is all you say to me.

--

_-Searching for nothing_

Our search for nothing ends here with you finding your something…

I don't want you to go…

I'm sorry we fought…

I'm sorry I hit you…

I'm sorry we have to leave each other…

I'm sorry I never told you I was going to die…

I know you don't want to leave, you want me to come. But I can't go with you. I wish I could but I can't. I don't have much longer to live and this is my last gift to you. I want to reunite you and your brother and that is what I am going to do. I watch as you go into that bright light above in my masterpiece. I know you will use to get to what you were searching for. Take care Edward, I will always love you.

BLAM!

It's getting cold Edward… but the pain is going away, as well as everything else…

Edward, I'm going to see the sky and I'm going to touch it...

I'm just sorry that you can't touch it with me…

-End-

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